Episode 1: Tequila Mockingbird

[00:00:00] 4 Parents, 9 Kids, 2 Houses Didn'tнE Really Wanna Talk About This 4 Parents, 9 Kids, some queer 1 things clear There's NO Dysfunction Here 1 things clear 1 thing clear 1 thing clear There's NO Dysfunction here Well done. Well done. Hey everybody. We're here. Oh, I'll be in. Oh my god. Well, we decided

[00:00:41] we're gonna start with a shot for our first episode ever. Shots of tequila which I have not done in quite some time. Years probably. That's around the salt. Yeah, look at first.

[00:00:55] Yeah. Oh, that's right. Shit. All right. You want to lime tip? Here you go. Give you the biggest one. All right, Jake. Come on over your way. Thanks. Okay. Oh my god. I hope I

[00:01:11] don't puke. You just lime. You after. You put the lime in a coconut shake. Yeah. That was a rhetorical. Lips shoot suck. Sounds like a Wednesday night at our house. Right. Here we go. Okay. Cheers. Cheers.

[00:01:28] Cheers. No dysfunction here. Clean the salt's enough. Oh, that's right. Oh god. Here we go. Oh, thank god for that lime. I'll take your lime. Oh lord. That's different when it's not in Mexico.

[00:01:50] Okay. Wow. And we got that out of the way. What are we doing here? I have an idea for a tequila business. The name will be tequila mockingbird. Okay, I like it already. That's all I got so far.

[00:02:07] But I'm pretty sure it's gonna be a distillery. I like it. And the name on the bottle will just be tequila mockingbird. That's so great. Can we call it the like Atticus Finch Distillery? Wow. If I'd ever read any of them.

[00:02:21] Why did the alcoholic take his wife on a bridge? Tequila. It's a dark story. Yeah, that wasn't very nice. Also my best friend always tells me I laugh at my own jokes but I'm gonna continue doing that. I don't mind.

[00:02:40] I don't mind. If you're not laughing at your own jokes, they're not funny. Yeah, I surprise myself with the shit that comes out of my mouth. So it's funny. That's when I know it's funny is if I'm laughing. Right? Are you close enough to the mic, Jake?

[00:02:52] It's hard to tell if I can hear you in real life. I don't hear you as Mikey as the other people. As Mikey. He's shaky now, Mikey. As Mikey. Awesome. Well, shall we introduce ourselves and tell everybody why we're here?

[00:03:06] I'm not even sure we know exactly why we're here. That's a good idea. I thought it might be fun for like the moms to introduce each other and the dads to introduce each other. Oh, yeah. Would that be... Oh, yeah. Let's do it. Put us on the spot.

[00:03:19] Should I go first and introduce Tiff? Yeah. Oh, you're introducing me. Yeah. No, the moms introduce each other. The killer's kicking in guys. Not me. I need another. All right. Well, Tiff, Annie Bushman is my co-mom and she is the bad ass.

[00:03:41] She is the bad ass woman. I know she's so freaking awesome and I admire her so much and I'm not going to get emotional today. That was probably a lie. I've been emotional like five times already in the last three hours.

[00:03:56] But she runs her own business called Creative Designs. You can look it up at creativedesigns.com and she makes all kinds of things like embroidery, engraving, screen printing, you name it. She can even like etch shit on glass. She made AJ and Jake. I can't remember.

[00:04:19] Yeah. These really amazing glasses that had our kids' actual signatures on them. Strike one. So cool. And she also runs Rosatis. It's a pizza pub restaurant in Anthem, Arizona and she somehow has managed to have all of her employees just respect her

[00:04:44] and feel at home when they're working. And the atmosphere there has just changed so much since she's been in charge and it's awesome to see. And she's also always there for our family. She is such an important part of this parenting quad that we have going.

[00:05:06] And I am so grateful that she is my partner in mothering nine children. So yeah, she's got a heart of gold. We both love sunflowers. Her lucky numbers are 444 and she's just a ray of sunshine literally

[00:05:27] and just loves us all so fiercely. And I'm so grateful for you, Tiff. Aw, I wish you went on my first. That was really good. All very true. Did you write this before? I've been rehearsing that crap for a year and a half.

[00:05:44] I'm trying to say I have to go first for the guys. AJ is definitely going to do better than I am. Not true. It'll just be natural progression if he goes last. Wow. Okay. Well, probably my sleeves here are my sweaty. It's not because of that. So Toby.

[00:06:02] Yes, I feel I'm not feeling her. We're getting kinky already. What did you think this podcast was going to be about? That's another story we'll have to tell later.

[00:06:19] So Toby, I can just say I have never looked up to another female as much as I look up to you. I envy so many of the qualities that you have and aspire to just have the love that you share.

[00:06:36] I'm like, she must have magic in her because I just don't get it. But you have taught me so much how to be a better co-mom to like your babies who are my babies and to listen and speak with kindness.

[00:06:52] When I'm talking to our kids, I feel like there is an inner Toby monologue going on in my head and I have to use specific words because it's understood by so many of our children.

[00:07:04] And I follow through with that on a daily basis and just being taught unconditional love from someone that like I walked into your family. You didn't know me, but you trusted me within days.

[00:07:18] And there's just so many qualities that I am grateful to have just not only as like, you know, my husband's ex-wife, like we get along and you know that we can do stuff together.

[00:07:30] But you're like truly a friend to me and it's hard to come across people that like genuinely care and they're honest and they like you for your faults and they cheer you on for your strengths. And that's just who you are to me.

[00:07:46] I feel like the good and bad. You're still going to bring me up somewhere another. So I love you and I love that you love my babies, my crazy dogs. Just our family. This is such a good idea. That made me feel so good.

[00:08:02] I love you so much. I don't know if we're going to be able to. Our wedding is in the spring to answer your question. All right. A.J. Yes.

[00:08:12] I don't know how often I say it out loud to other people, but my nickname for you is Alpha Juliet. Cause I love that. Cause I use the phonetic alphabet on a daily basis with my job. So you've been in my life since 2011. So it's been a minute.

[00:08:29] True. I want to say one thing about you that I've said to a lot of people, you know, even a decade ago was if you've got to have a stepdad in your parents' lives. Like if this is your life and this is the way it is.

[00:08:48] If you're, you know, if your ex-wife has to have a husband and your kids have to have a stepdad, like I could not have picked anybody better. That is so kind of. I can't even get to pick. But. It would have been Chris Martin, we know.

[00:09:05] It would have been Chris Martin. And I would accept that. But you're just a fantastic human being. You're always an example to me to do a better job with calm demeanor in difficult situations. You're just a big ball of wisdom.

[00:09:25] You always got the right words a little more about you, not so much on personal levels. You're a general manager at a very popular international fast food chain with some kind of partner tracks going on. So lots of bright things in the future in that regard.

[00:09:48] And I love you. That was so nice. Thank you. This was the best idea. I really didn't think they liked us. I know we were just faking it. I thought. Smiling. No, truly. Thank you. That's so nice. I appreciate it. Thank you. You're welcome. Thank you.

[00:10:08] So many of the same things I can and probably will right now say about you. But Jake has also coincidentally been in my life since 2011. And I have learned so much from Jake.

[00:10:23] I have learned, you know, they're very specific strengths we all have as individuals and weaknesses or opportunities or everyone to say it. And Jake has so many strengths that I look up to, especially when it comes to his relationship with his kids.

[00:10:41] He loves truly unconditionally the people in his life. And not just kids. Like there's so many of us who love our kids unconditionally or, you know, we love our parents and our family unconditionally and whatnot.

[00:10:55] But Jake has so many friendships and people in his life that love is unconditional. And that is rare. I feel like in human beings, like most people, your friendships are built on trust and you're doing this and that and whatever you know.

[00:11:08] And he just loves through everything with everybody. And I really admire it.

[00:11:13] It's helped me grow in my own relationship with my own children being less adverse to just being open to seeing them as, you know, real human beings, not just children, you know, like with a lot of us were raised in a way,

[00:11:28] religiously and culturally that like, for me at least, like it's been hard for me to connect in that way at points in my life with my kids. And you really helped me connect in a different way with my kids. And I really appreciate it.

[00:11:42] Definitely one of the hardest working people I've ever met in my entire life always going always doing and not just for himself or his house or his businesses for people. You're a servant. Like you serve people constantly.

[00:11:55] So a good example is the that he has helped me install TVs, men by helped I mean installed TV in my house that he purchased for us for Christmas presents and then part of the gift is installing them because I'm not great at that sort of thing and we all know it.

[00:12:12] And so just every day is an example of how to serve people through or love people through serving people. I admire that a ton. He's an air traffic controller.

[00:12:22] Tell him that for a long time he's also, you know, owns Rosati's with Tiff and does a lot with that with her. So many other, you know, just side business things that you're always doing something to help better other people around you, your own children yourself.

[00:12:37] Just, you're always going and doing and I just love it. Super musically talented, literally. I mean, hands down the best karaoke performance I've ever heard in my life sound of silence. Let's just let's take a moment of silence for sound of silence.

[00:12:52] Sorry, I didn't do very good at that. Just don't laugh. This is serious.

[00:12:56] But no truly just so so gifted musically and it's been passed down to his children all of his children are super gifted musically and you heard one of them at the beginning of this podcast help Jonah help create our our intro for that.

[00:13:11] So I just look up to Jonah.

[00:13:13] Yes, and I learned from him all the time and I'm super grateful that he views me in some kind of positive life because I think he also has so much wisdom, especially in areas where I feel like I lack and don't perceive things the same way.

[00:13:29] And I learn all the time from your wisdom too. So thank you. Thanks, my man. Thank you so much. Man, I think we can call it a day. Yeah, the other day, Jake walked in the house or maybe knocked.

[00:13:44] I don't know he was measuring my cabinets because we have a broken cabinet and he saw a cabinet that was out that he thought we could use and to fix our cabinet and those are that's just a very small example but he's always looking to help other people and I remember when we were married there was like always helping homeless people or someone

[00:14:08] like on the side of the road with a flat tire or you know we you even put up a family in a hotel for a couple days and we bought them toys and food and whatever and that was all you and I just admire those things and you too.

[00:14:25] Thank you so much. Yeah, I can thank my pops for that. He's the exact same way. Yeah, when they were here last visiting I pulled up to pick up one of the kids and he's out like painting something on the side of your house or something.

[00:14:43] I'm like oh Sam, you're there you are doing your thing. Always working every time I see him too. I know he's such a good man. I love your dad. They're good people. Yep.

[00:14:56] Like you would love Sam like he's just you know he's like Jake has this heart of gold and you just serves people and you know yada yada and she brought it up one time.

[00:15:07] She's like you guys would love to go fishing together and Jake was like can I go Sam hates fishing or something. I don't know what it was but it was like you guys would love to do something. That's hilarious. Oh, so have we told you about that story?

[00:15:27] No. But it's really funny already. So anytime okay this is the story so we're in Rocky Point and we get a taxi and I don't know why I wound up sitting in the front seat.

[00:15:39] Jake, Matt and Julia are in the back seat and I just wanted to be friendly to the taxi driver and I'm like yeah I'm doing Duolingo. I'm trying to learn Spanish and she's like how's it going?

[00:15:48] And I'm like yeah and Jake's up and he goes when's the wedding? Oh my god that's great. And then he's like where you guys going? We're like yeah we're going to Banditos. There's like a rock show or what did he say? How did it go?

[00:16:05] We're going to a concert like a festival are you familiar with But Rock? He goes But Rock. So now we imagine he's just like what's going on? I imagine he's just like lazy in bed at night now like But Rock. But what is But Rock? The genre.

[00:16:24] Like the 80s like hair band rock. Oh I'm never DC. I don't know why I started calling it that because I heard it somewhere else but I don't know how big of a term Cullin of the Church it is. Well so why are we here guys?

[00:16:39] What are we doing?

[00:16:40] I feel like we're just here to talk about our lives because we are trying to do something that a lot of people don't ever try to do which is really have a genuine authentic blended family with real relationships between everybody and why not talk about it?

[00:16:59] Talk about the good times, talk about the bad times, talk about how we power through the bad times. Instead of just being enemies which are going to be bad for the parents and especially bad for the kids.

[00:17:12] We all say that our kids are more important than we are but when we fight with our ex and our kids have any knowledge of it whatsoever we are not demonstrating that our kids are more important than we are.

[00:17:26] We're demonstrating that we are more important than our kids are. So I think we're here because we are figuring it out. We did not figure it out, we are figuring it out because it's a yo-yo process.

[00:17:46] It's a steady climb like we're doing good but we're going down two steps forward one step back type stuff. I'm using my hands and an audio. I'm enjoying it. Now it's like a wave.

[00:18:02] We're not perfect but we do believe that the fact that we're trying to be on good terms with each other naturally makes it the best possible situation for the kids. We just want to share that story, show anybody who cares what it looks like. It's 100% real talk.

[00:18:26] In our jingle there is no dysfunction here which is funny. Sarcasm. There is so much dysfunction but the thing is through the good and the bad we find our way back and in conversations with people out and about they're like how do you guys do it?

[00:18:42] I think with talking to Toby and other people that do podcasts it's very, very different that we can do what we're doing. If we can just inspire for their parents to try and do what we do it's making a difference.

[00:18:58] I think that's important to all of us just to share what we do, how we get through good times and bad times. We can sit at a round table together and talk into a microphone. I for one am just grateful to be here with all of you.

[00:19:14] It has been hard fought and we've been through an awful lot together and as a family and what you said Jake I think is so important is that we say we put our children first and that we love our children more than anything.

[00:19:30] When we're choosing to let our ego or our pride lead and are in discord it is not putting our children first.

[00:19:42] At the same time I recognize there are a lot of situations like the lady that was just cutting my hair yesterday was telling me about how her baby daddy is just 100% not workable. And what do you do in that situation?

[00:20:00] We are very lucky that we all are willing to set aside our differences and I would say all four of us are such different people. Tiff and I are so different and Jake and AJ are so different.

[00:20:16] And so to learn to appreciate each other and work off of our strengths and give grace for the weaknesses I think is something that we're very lucky that all four of us are willing to do.

[00:20:30] I've always said I scream it from the rooftops that Tiff came into this family last out of all of us and I was so grateful that she was just willing to be open to being kind to me.

[00:20:44] I mean I was just like so grateful that Tiff is who she is and is willing to work with me and not against me.

[00:20:54] And you know and so I didn't have advice, I didn't know what to tell this girl who was telling me all these stories about her baby's daddy that would, he would not budge. He's not paying child support blah blah blah you know all these things.

[00:21:10] And so I don't know we are very blessed and lucky but at the same time we have had to work really hard for what we have as well. I love that. Yeah.

[00:21:20] And I think especially like Tiff and I having situations with exes where a lot of the time if not all the time it's like so difficult you know and there's a lot there that could be helped if they took if we could take a different approach the approach we're trying to take here.

[00:21:38] And it makes me feel even more grateful for this situation in this family that we have, because I literally experienced both sides of the spectrum and it is truly so nice to be able to have this part of the spectrum.

[00:21:57] And like AJ and I are the evil step parents of this amazing family but I don't feel like I'm treated like an evil step parent. I feel like I'm looked at as a parental figure that provides insight and knowledge and love and I feel the same way.

[00:22:17] I think that in all of our interactions with our kids I mean I guess I'll just speak for myself I'm always saying like she is just as much of a parent as I am or he is just as much you know because I just feel like we really try and parent all together and run everything you know we have parent how many parenting

[00:22:36] meetings have we had this week. Oh my lord at least three I think. Yeah. Plus Sunday lesson. Yeah. It's it is a lot of working through things and working together and and valuing each other as equal partners in all of this. So our oldest is about to be 21.

[00:22:55] Oh, and then we have a 20 year old. Is breaking 19, 19, 18, 17, 16, 15, 15, 15 and 11. Yeah, we're not crazy. No dysfunction. It's wild when you think about it. It is a lot and our kids are freaking phenomenal human beings.

[00:23:23] They're so awesome and some of them even want to come on here and be guests on the podcast. So I'm extremely excited about that and one more shout out to Jonah for putting our jingle together.

[00:23:35] He's an amazing musician and you can look him up on SoundCloud or Spotify. He always says go to Spotify. They pay me more. Yeah. But Jonah Bushman look him up. He's an amazing music artist. Should we wrap up episode one? Not T-Shirt. I'm not feeling this shot yet.

[00:23:53] I thought it was a lightweight. Feels like a successful maiden voyage. Yeah. Next time T-Shirt sister. Oh, yeah. Tip knows that out of a good time. That's a family on the card. Covering the key. Progressive parents. Progressive parents. That's right. Progressive slash drunk parenting.

[00:24:12] I think they're the same thing. We're still sitting on our chairs. Yeah. Right. And no driving tonight. I love you guys. Thanks for doing this with us. Yeah. I mean, yeah. I'm excited. It's all downhill from here. That's probably the best one we've ever. We just peaked.

[00:24:30] It felt smooth. It felt. Click subscribe. See I'm already running it. It's over. I've already run it. All right. Bye. Bye.