In episode 2 we dive into years of memories, when we as the four parents, all met one another.
[00:00:00] Music Dave, hand me a beer. Hi guys! Hey, what up? Welcome back for episode is it five now? That's what it feels like. Or is it just two to the fourth power? I like the answer that's perfect. They both equal five right?
[00:00:41] I think so. Let's not check it. Oh god, I don't know but we did try and record episode two last week and it did not take it was we had technical issues so twice. But since we're super hardcore we did it again. Yes, we're not quitters. That's right.
[00:00:59] Yeah, that sucked because we went through the whole thing again and it was a completely different episode which I like. We were impressed with ourselves. Yeah, it worked just not saved. Yeah, exactly. So here we are again and we're going to try it for the third time
[00:01:12] because three times the charm this is going to work. I appreciate your guys' perseverance. Yeah. Really. That's what it takes. Absolutely. So where do we start? Oh, with that? Shot, shot, shot. Terrible. Oh yeah, that's your chaser tiff. It's not that much. It's okay.
[00:01:35] It's me that one time we're about to have a terrible, non-chilled shot. Gross. Why are you doing this? I remember that. I missed you AJ. Oh. Come back. It matters. All right. That. Oh God, I'm scared. I feel like I need to cover the mic to drink this.
[00:01:58] Oh my God, that's awful. Terrible. Terrible. My goosebumps have goosebumps. Yeah. Okay. Now Rick and Rackam are ready. This is the second time I've done a shot in like years. I do not do shots and this podcast is a bad influence on me. But it's fun.
[00:02:22] I mean, it makes you feel alive. Something. I sense an immediate energy change where like. It's like a natural woman. All right. Well guys, here we are. What are we talking about today? Today's topic is how I met your mother. Oh yeah.
[00:02:44] We should, if there's anything we should remember, it's that. Maybe we should talk about how we all met. Roberta. Her mother is my mom or Patty or Noni or Roberta. She has multiple names. She doesn't. Sorry, mom. When you listen to this, that's Jake's nickname for her.
[00:03:03] I actually learned a lot about your childhood. I was telling AJ this the other day just recently, we had some time together, tip and I, and I have like a deeper respect for Roberta and who she is and the mom she is after just hearing your life story.
[00:03:20] It was cool. Beautiful. She was my rockstar growing up. And now I'm still old and she's still there, which is huge. Robby. No, no, no. Robby is okay. Bobby, I don't think she might or Bert. Don't call her Bert. Oh my gosh, mom.
[00:03:36] When you listen to this, we're so sorry. I'm so sorry. You know, I love you. We love you Roberta. All right. So what are we? So how I met your mother? We were... Hopefully the stomach saved. We are off to a horrible start.
[00:03:50] We were much better last week. We wanted to talk a little bit about how we met each other. Just give a foundation before we really dive in deep with all of you. We just wanted to maybe introduce ourselves in the way of how our
[00:04:07] relationships came to be and how they evolved and all the dirt in there just getting crazy. It's dirty. Back off paparazzi, it's only episode two. We're not famous just yet. So yeah, there are years of relationships here and a lot of great stories to share.
[00:04:30] So Toby and Jake, you're up first. We're going chronologically. Good idea. Okay. Are we counting time travel? We're not supposed to know about that. That's episode 67. My bad. Dude, we're going to get into that. Yeah. Stay tuned. They're not ready for it. You want to go first Jacob?
[00:04:52] Sure. I met Toby in... I don't know where it was. I was 17 because I was driving. So you were probably 15. I think I was about to turn 15 that August but I probably met you on like June or July if I remember. It was Casa Ross' birthday.
[00:05:11] We went to Casa Ross' birthday party. That's where we met. She was a mutual friend. Ramstein Air Base in Germany where Toby lived and I lived about an hour from there on a different military base.
[00:05:27] And so yeah, I was kind of talking to your older sister kind of the beginning stages of dating there. I met you and I remember I brought my guitar to that birthday party and did some campfire serenading. It was excellent. I was impressed. With or without you.
[00:05:54] But the skills remained the same for the last 30 years. I have karaoke performances recorded that can prove you wrong. So at some point I guess the party was phasing out. I was going to drive you somewhere.
[00:06:08] I don't know if I was taking you home or if we were going to get Popeye's chicken or what was going on but I asked her to remind me of her name. I think we met inside of the party but I was opening the car door for you
[00:06:21] and you said Toby and then as I was closing the door I was cleverly thinking to myself or saying we're not in Kansas anymore, we're in the city and then I closed her door and then I was walking around
[00:06:35] in my mind, my door and I was just thinking to myself, you dumbass it's not Toby, it's Toto. And so then I opened the door and fast up. I'm like that's not right. The dog's name is Toto and she's like, I don't remember how I rolled out.
[00:06:51] And it was bad honesty that drew her hand from the get go. So I don't remember what we did after that. But the big memory was the birthday party meeting you and I do remember that from the very beginning
[00:07:09] you just impressed me in that you were kind and loving to everyone. It's making me emotional over here. Thank you. Let's have another shot. I remember meeting Jake and just realizing very quickly that he had a very powerful effect on people,
[00:07:34] that he had a big energy and a big presence and that he also was really kind and really cool and he had a trunk full of Red Bull. And he was so generous. I remember him always offering to pay for everything for people when he had the money,
[00:07:57] which was pretty much all the time he was a hard worker and his parents would help him out with some cash sometimes. And so he just would offer to pay. We'd go to Anthony's Pizza or the movies or whatever and he was always just super generous
[00:08:13] and also he really did open the car door for every girl that was there and that was so nice. So I was just always really impressed by his kindness and his goodness and generosity and there was just like a sunshine that beamed out of him
[00:08:31] and it was infectious and he was a very talented musician and I was impressed by that, but always on a friendship level he was as he mentioned like dating my sister when I met him I don't think they were completely dating yet
[00:08:46] but that ended up being like a little bit of a thing or whatever. What a dick move to date someone that dated my sister but I'm so grateful that me and my sister have a good relationship. She's a good woman, but yeah. Do you want to check first?
[00:09:03] Yes we did get her blessing, I think. We asked for it. I sure hope so. We asked for it. I can't remember if we got it. I can't remember but. Who cares about that part? We're all friends now. This is decade ago, it's really fun.
[00:09:17] I mean when you ask the dad's permission are you really not going to do it if they say no? I mean my dad was like no! I always thought it was so silly but okay. I don't believe, I don't want my children
[00:09:29] to feel like their partner has to ask any of our permission. That's one of those things today we were having a family activity where we were just sitting around talking with the kids about memories and whatnot. We were talking about how tradition is like something that is basically
[00:09:46] I saw a meme that said tradition is just peer pressure from your ancestors. I love that. And I think, and then Jonah's like but Navajo tacos are really good. And I was like okay some traditions rock like I still like to get a Christmas stocking.
[00:10:01] But like so many times we need to look at our traditions. Yeah totally. And be like why are we doing this? Why do we and we watched what we're watching Love is Blind Brazil right now. And in Brazil the men and the women wear engagement rings.
[00:10:20] So the men are also appearing as taken just like the women and I love that. I'm just like why do men not wear engagement rings? It's such a dumb anyway. We should all look at our traditions. We're exploring our options okay.
[00:10:33] But anyway Jake and I became fast friends and we always had a very special connection. And even you know to this day I was just with Anna and we were eating at Carlos O'Brien's and we were talking about Jake and his goodness and I got emotional.
[00:10:50] I get emotional all the time when I think about Jake because I truly love him and I love who he is. I love the father he is. I love the human he is. And that's never gone away. He is always there to help somebody.
[00:11:07] I can't remember what it was but one time I think a dog, I think it was probably Billy destroyed like a bunch of stuff in our living room or something.
[00:11:15] And it seems like I came home or I came downstairs and Jake was like down there cleaning it up. He was like sweeping my floor. I'm just like where did you come from? Thank you so much.
[00:11:25] Like he's just a good human and I always felt that from him. And we didn't end up dating until we were both at BYU years later because I met him when I was 14. But I feel like I can speak for the both of us when we,
[00:11:42] when I say we've both just had a mutual true friendship and admiration for each other that has sustained you know of course we've had our ups and downs for sure. But I just love the guy. He's a good dude. Thank you. I love you too. Thanks.
[00:12:01] AJ what are you doing later? Sleeping alone I think. Maybe on the couch. When is the wedding and when is the affair? Oh good times that was beautiful. It was it makes my heart happy. Mine too. That was good. Who's next chronologically? I think AJ and I. Yeah.
[00:12:25] But I'm done talking so go ahead honey. All right it was a dark and stormy winter night. It was December. It was December I don't think it was stormy. It was dark because it was late but I have a friend who we met through playing video games
[00:12:43] and we were really good friends and him and his wife would host a poker night at their house every Friday or Saturday night. And I made it to you know all of them because I love poker and I love my friends usually after work
[00:12:56] and would bring food for everybody whatever it was this particular time I was not going to go. And then last minute decided to go and so I showed up late I think it started at 7 I got there like 8 or 8 15 or something.
[00:13:11] And my friend Casey opened the door and said something funny and I said something back I don't know. I remember there was some interaction where there was laughing involved but I was literally looking past him because where the poker table was positioned down away from the front door.
[00:13:32] Toby, I didn't know her at the time obviously. Beaming with light. She was standing up and leaning over the poker table and she was like pointing at something or talking to I don't know what it was but I literally saw my cleavage. I was just going to say.
[00:13:51] To this day she was too far away for the cleavage but I do remember to this day what shirt she was wearing it was like that blue or turquoise-ish like satin-y kind of you know what I'm talking about.
[00:14:01] Somebody told me it looked like it had penises those shapes were penises so I stopped wearing it so much. It's pretty sure it's Pini. Pini, yeah no that makes more sense now that I think about it. I did like the shirt until that comment.
[00:14:15] So you don't have it anymore? To be fair I've never thought it looked like a penis was on that shirt or Pini. I'm confused now about what the correct terminology is but I remember instantly. Let's talk about cactuses in a second.
[00:14:30] Thinking who is this person and why are they here and I would really like to know who they are.
[00:14:36] And it turned out that somebody that we had met in Wendover which is like a border Nevada town west of Salt Lake City if you're not familiar where there's gambling and whatnot.
[00:14:47] We had gone out the weekend or maybe a few weeks before whatever it was we were playing poker out there.
[00:14:52] We just went out and having a good time and we ran into a guy that I knew from high school and he kind of knew someone else in our friend group and we were talking and they invited him to the poker night.
[00:15:02] Well it turns out he comes and he actually previously had been married to Toby's sister. Andrea, my sisters, X's brought me to both of my husbands. Chiv, how did Andrea? Thank you Andrea you're just an angel in my life. I'm really upset she didn't.
[00:15:23] I know we'll talk to her about it. I think she did the coding for plenty of fish. You're probably right. Andrea you're getting a phone call tomorrow and we're going to figure this out.
[00:15:34] We'll see how it all fits together because I'm sure that she played a role in it but he was there and he brought Toby because he didn't want to come alone I think.
[00:15:43] She had never played poker before and just from the instant I went in I remember she got introduced to me. I don't even remember if you introduced yourself. I was literally just like okay AJ game time.
[00:15:57] Like you've never ever tried to flirt with anybody ever in any situation. You've never asked for a phone number. You've never done anything. Now's your chance. I was trying to get you to drink. I was trying to get you to drink.
[00:16:11] I was trying to get you to drink. She was trying to get me to drink and then I didn't want to do it but I was so just like I definitely was trying to play it cool but also be funny and flirt a little bit but not directly.
[00:16:28] I was giving it everything I had in the most subtle way possible and she took all of my money and I did not give it to her. I love playing poker.
[00:16:37] I still love playing poker and she had never played before and she was winning every hand and taking all of my money and honestly even though I was into her and was like this person is so cute. I was not happy about losing.
[00:16:51] I will never be happy about losing a poker and but we talked and eventually the game kind of ended or we were out of the game and we were sitting on the couch and I was kind of telling her about my kids and she was telling me about her kids a little bit and showing each other pictures and what not.
[00:17:10] I asked for her phone number which I never, I literally had never done before like it's not what I ever did and I remember she was telling me a story while we were there that there was this guy who like wouldn't leave her alone and he kept sending her scriptures about like trying to manipulate her into liking him because we had both grown up Mormon and there's a lot that goes on there but said goodbye waited a couple of days
[00:17:39] and then the first text I sent her I think it was like two or three days later was a scripture about love and she just was and it was I knew it was risky but she she responded and just said who is this and I said she officially like it's a giant firing
[00:17:54] and who this and we both happened to be at different Walmart at the exact same time doing Christmas present shopping and it was kind of funny and both presenters. Yeah, definitely. 24 hours. Yeah, both super centers there was fruit and everything that shit was everywhere. Apple's bananas Jerry.
[00:18:12] You guys aren't even going to believe this. Wait, BA, BA, BA. Automatic center.
[00:18:15] Anyway, so one thing led to another and we texted for a week straight and ended up going on a date with the same friends like they just happened to be having because Vinny my friend and Kendall have birthdays really close together and so they were having a birthday party at the red door
[00:18:34] a little wine bar in downtown Salt Lake City and more to be bar. My bad. That's she's great at that stuff. We're like, she fits like a glove. So we went on the state. It was the it was the best night. It was so fun.
[00:18:55] We ended up at some birthday party of a friend that she had had before the club and I don't dance and have ever been to a club and we went and I'll always remember the first kids we had was on that dance floor to Rihanna's we found love in a hopeless place.
[00:19:11] Yeah, and then I can legitimately say I fell in. I said, oh, I like you play on words homeless better sums up everything. It's fine.
[00:19:27] But I can definitely say I legitimately fell in love over the first few weeks of just mostly texting is what it was like we saw each other a couple of times but mostly just texting and I just knew this person was special and I was so excited that she seemed somewhat into it.
[00:19:47] So I was very interested right away and I could feel AJ's goodness and his purity and his. I didn't think that he would have never asked for a girl's number I didn't he he really did play it very well but we do.
[00:20:06] I don't have my penis shirt, but I do have the jacket he was still or he still has the jacket he was wearing and every time he wears it brings all the feels back like I thought he was wearing a jacket.
[00:20:16] He feels back like I thought he was so cute and so kind and I was so impressed by a few things about AJ that night he refused to drink and he does not get swayed by peer pressure and I find that so sexy.
[00:20:33] I was just like he does not I'm the girl that I know he's interested in me and I'm like come on just drink.
[00:20:41] And he would not because I was tipsy and just being irresponsible but I wasn't driving or anything I didn't have my children that night but then the same night when we went to a club AJ's first dance club of his whole life to meet one of my friends.
[00:20:59] He one of our friends was so drunk that he couldn't drive his own car and so hit this friend was laid out in his own backseat and AJ was sober and fine enough to drive and so he's like I can drive your car for you.
[00:21:16] And this guy in the in his own cars backseat was being so rude to AJ like he was belligerently drunk and he's just like you suck in driving I don't know he was just like being rude just like trying to be funny but I don't appreciate rude humor as my children very well know I don't like it.
[00:21:36] And AJ rolled with the punches he knew that this guy was just really drunk and no matter how rude this guy was to AJ.
[00:21:45] He still found a way to make it funny and like go along with this guy that was being rude but he never one time was rude back he didn't smack back with like some kind of rude humor and I, I thought that was so attractive.
[00:22:02] It was so attractive to me, your goodness I literally fell in love with you because of your kindness.
[00:22:11] And that has never changed and I'm so so grateful for the example you set to our entire family of standing in who you are and not letting anybody sway you in a way that is inappropriate.
[00:22:26] You know, that doesn't mean you're not open to other people's opinions and open to hearing other points of view and and you know opening yourself to them.
[00:22:35] But if you know something is right or wrong for you, you're not going to let someone else sway you in that and I find that so beautiful.
[00:22:44] And also you're just kind you never have anybody else at the as the butt of your jokes and specifically me I never the butt of your joke and I really appreciate that and now you're just a good guy.
[00:22:59] That is so nice and also only holds true until I start drinking because then if you're like, you can jump off of you can't jump off of this second story.
[00:23:09] Vinny could get him and and tuck and roll and not break a leg. I'd be like, yeah, I can Vinny and him would have some drinks and Vinny would be like, let's go do something great.
[00:23:20] I don't know what it like there were times where I'm like, okay, sure you guys are cut off. Parkour parkour definitely was something that would happen after a few drinks. That's so nice. Thank you so much. I love you. I love you.
[00:23:34] I love you. You guys are totes adored and I do not shorten words. I feel special. I did too. I actually I feel special. He really doesn't like people that say that so for you, it's a big deal. Man, that's major. Thank you, Jake.
[00:23:52] I think next is do we do Jake and AJ? Yeah, it makes sense. It was really important for me when I started dating AJ that AJ knew that it was really important for me. The bills were done to have you guys be kind to each other.
[00:24:12] I knew that Jake would be kind and I wanted to make sure that anybody I brought into my children's lives was going to be extremely kind, friendly, not just cordial,
[00:24:23] not just like being courteous in person and still having that be uncomfortable because that was something that was very difficult for me as a child
[00:24:34] and still is something that when my parents are in the same room, bless their hearts. I have no hard feelings, but it is very anxiety reducing. There is still so much tension that hasn't been worked out.
[00:24:47] I just wanted the person that I chose to bring into my children's life and you were the first person that I ever dated after Jake that I allowed to meet my children.
[00:24:59] I told you like I want you to not only be kind but literally be his friend. He's a good person and he's my children's father and he's really, really important.
[00:25:11] AJ has always been true to that. He's always sought to be kind and friendly and not get too involved in the parts of our relationships that have been contentious or whatever you know.
[00:25:27] I'm really grateful to you both for that being mature enough and understanding how important it is to put the kids first when it comes to these things, to just be kind to each other and to literally work to form a friendship too.
[00:25:44] I think what's really interesting about it is that I had never been in a situation where I was like, oh okay, I'm going to meet this ex and she's expressing what she's expressing about it or whatever.
[00:25:57] I had never thought about this before really. Even though I had been in the same situation with my ex-wife dating someone new and there were dynamics there and so much going on there and whatnot, when she's expressing all of this I'm thinking like okay it's important that I be kind, it's important that I'm accepting whatever you know.
[00:26:18] But the reality of it is, is who Jake is as a person is great. And like Toby said, there were ups and downs. There have been times where we've disagreed or times where we've had hardship or times where I've straight up been an asshole about certain things.
[00:26:33] And I think that underneath all of that and the dynamics that come along with any kind of relationship that stems from divorce and hard feelings that are there, who Jake is is such a naturally good, fun, funny great person that it was genuine.
[00:26:54] It was just easy. It was like, oh this guy's fun. This guy's great. You know, like it's sure there are things that are hard and like within our relationship and your relationship and a relationship Jake might have had with someone else at the time.
[00:27:06] Like there are always these little things when kids are involved that make stuff difficult sometimes who Jake is as a person and how I felt about him was easy and natural.
[00:27:18] It was like, oh he's just fun. He's nice. He's generous. He cares about the people around him. He's doing his best. I'm trying to do the exact same thing. Like that's an easy relationship to have. So I'll preface that with whatever is next.
[00:27:33] Thank you guys are awesome. Thank you so much. I do remember prior to ever meeting AJ that I was given a friendly heads up from Toby that I've met someone and I like him.
[00:27:46] And there are a few things that I would like to change. Maybe just like I didn't, I didn't choose the separation at the time. So, so ultimately at the time I was hoping that we were going to get back together.
[00:27:58] I was hoping she was going to change her mind. So I was still trying to flirt and I was still trying to be you know Rico Suave and and when I would give her a hug I would try and give her a good hug.
[00:28:15] And so she was just like some things I would like to change because I've met somebody new. I'd like you to stop flirting with me or trying to flirt with me and and these excessive full body hugs.
[00:28:30] I would like that to stop too. And and so that that was hurtful in the moment. You know, maybe my hopes of rekindling where we're not going to happen or something like that.
[00:28:45] So I wasn't you know we were coming from different angles AJ and I where he was the new guy in the situation and probably just wanted all of us to get along and I was you know kind of coming in but hurt.
[00:28:59] So prior to the separation we had a family trip planned where we're going to take all our kids to Disneyland and I got canceled.
[00:29:09] And I still don't think we had met each other in person to where they dated for a few months and they planned a trip to go to Disneyland and take all of their all of the kids with them.
[00:29:25] And and I remember just you know feeling like I just felt really shitty like you know like I was being replaced.
[00:29:38] I mean and you know I knew and understood the the the romantic part of being replaced but the the part that where you know a different man was going on the dream vacation with my children that I wanted to be on.
[00:29:59] You know really hurt my feelings and quickly turned to anger and rather than beat around the bush or sweep under the rug or suffer in silence I chose to communicate with him about what was hurting me.
[00:30:19] So that was basically our first interaction was his response to me being upset about his vacation with my children and and he was just as G rated and kind as he could have possibly been like he he said I hear you.
[00:30:42] I understand where you're coming from. I'm going through the same kind of stuff with my children.
[00:30:47] I don't remember everything that was said but I just remember he heard me and he understood me and I instantly liked him because of it like I had some fundamental reasons to want to hate him.
[00:30:59] You know that we can all understand but his first response to to my being hurt and being upset.
[00:31:08] So right out of the gate us meeting I was negative and all he could do was you know he didn't say hey I'm so sorry I'm going to cancel this trip.
[00:31:18] You know but but but I didn't need that. All I needed was another good dad to hear me and acknowledge it and he did that perfectly. And and I'll probably come up with some more stuff but I'll let you take that over for right now.
[00:31:34] I just I love that story and I just appreciate everything you just said and it's so funny because you expressing it takes me back to that moment. And I remember like for context.
[00:31:52] I remember my kids coming to my house and starting to call me AJ dad and I was like okay you know like I didn't think much of it really you know and I was just like well okay there's like back and forth you know whatever it might be but like I'm your dad you know like but okay
[00:32:10] and and as I like X like a broach that topic with my ex-wife at the time you know she expressed to me like well we believe that the word step is a word used by Satan to divide families and so in our home.
[00:32:29] We just have them call her new husband dad and then your AJ dad so there's not confusion and I just remember being like I'm sorry what you know like that doesn't make a lot of sense to me and so I in in that interaction remember thinking like oh this person feels the same way I do about things is worried about the same things I'm worried about is stressed
[00:32:57] about the same stresses I'm stressed about and I want him to truly understand like.
[00:33:04] I'm there with you like I get it and I understand it's not my role to ever in any way replace you at all period and a funny story of that which I know your members as I start telling it as we went to the build a bear workshop.
[00:33:18] And we had all the kids and you know multiple last names multiple different people when I you know and so the very first person to God a bear built was one of my biological children so the last name on it was Farish you know they put on there and then they just did the rest of the kids and we just told them their name and what not you know.
[00:33:36] And for whatever for whatever reason they put Jonah's last name is Farish on the receipt or on the bear the tag that came with it or something you know and you were like what's that I'm like oh my God no no no no no no like bear birth certificate bear birth certificate that's what it was and I was like I promise you I am with you a million percent I would never ever ever and so I just appreciated like it showed me in that moment that like.
[00:34:06] Oh this person cares about the same things I care about and it'll be easy for us to be on the same page with different things I just want to say something about having new found compassion for what that must have been like for you Jake and for you a J but when you tell that story about Disney lands like I was just in such a.
[00:34:30] Different place a place of selfishness a place of survival but when you tell that story I just have so much compassion for you and what that time in your life must have been like.
[00:34:43] Recently Jake and I sat in his backyard and we had like a heart to heart and we talked about some really hard things and we just kind of like hashed it out and we express some.
[00:34:55] Hard things and he expressed things that I had never considered about like what must have been hard for him in our marriage and in our divorce and my.
[00:35:08] Appreciation for how you handled those things has grown even more you know and even the way that you communicated with AJ without even having met him in person. Is so admirable I just respect it so much and I'm so sorry like we should have chosen a different vacation.
[00:35:30] We all need to go to Disneyland together plus Jonas still pissed because he was too and we didn't take him we left him with my sister. So I get to walk in first yes you get to walk in first and we're going to buy.
[00:35:47] Why does AJ get punished I should know it's fine I just hope he mom it's okay I'm gonna make us all T-shirts so. Creative designs. So good.
[00:36:02] For the record I will gladly wear a T-shirt that says AJ dad just funny because that's what your Christmas stocking says like I'm so dumb and I already had Jake's stocking we all have matching stockings and I had them embroidered and Jake's already said dad so I put AJ dash dad like he's both and then I'm like that reads.
[00:36:26] That is so fucked up it didn't bother me at all but it's so funny because we joke about it to this day is great lame.
[00:36:35] It's okay because I bought like I think because we had a brand in this year and Bella so I have 12 stockings that we can have done so if you want to be dad I can make that happen.
[00:36:46] We just need to dad yeah two moms like honestly I think I'd be a little sad if I lost my AJ dad one like it makes me. There are no hurt feelings and it's such a great culmination of the story. Let's keep it. Yeah.
[00:37:03] Should we do a Jake dad. I just have a dad shirt in Disneyland and yours is Jake. Really drive in the knife. Our soul just say mama T perfect. Mama T sunflowers forever. Okay so next would be Jake and to France.
[00:37:24] Finally we get to hear from to come on girl waiting cranky okay. That's a typism to pass so many unique words like she calls hamburger buns rolls she calls the laundry the wash she calls the shopping cart a buggy and I absolutely love it. I love her word.
[00:37:45] She says cranky the remote controls the clicker yeah and you know what I finally felt validated by my funny language when our kids are like hey did you flip the wash. I'm like yes. I hear him say it all the time. Yay.
[00:38:01] I brainwashed them working so I'm the newbie to the group. I met Jake in 2016 and we did it the online route. I had been doing plenty of fish.
[00:38:16] I had separated from my ex husband in 2014 moved to Arizona and then my friend Stacy who I know listen will be listening to this so thank you Stacy for we love you Stacy yeah I love you the most.
[00:38:30] I was on plenty of fish I met some guys they were just like show me your boobs and I'm like I'm not into that like I'm a single mom of two like I'm not going to be your porn hub.
[00:38:40] And I'm like I'm gonna give up towards Stacy I'm like I'm done like I don't want to play around anymore and she's like just give it one more night one more night and I did it in the next.
[00:38:50] She was all your boo the very first text he sent you was I kind of think that Stacy's asked for the show me her boobs yeah it's funny that Tiff is the only one who's like.
[00:38:59] The only one out of all of us that doesn't like boobs I don't I don't I couldn't I just so off topic but you know what I don't care about your sexuality I just could never go that route because I think that they're just big fluffy things of fat and I don't find them attract.
[00:39:14] I love him give me your lips and I mean not those lips. I'm an iron lip girl but I went the lips upstairs not downstairs you guys didn't know where this podcast was ending did you where does getting started my drinks I'm doing.
[00:39:29] I'm not gonna be so you should be good for the rest of the show.
[00:39:31] But anyway so she was like yeah just stick to it so I did I went to bed made my coffee the next morning open up plenty of fish and boom there's a novella from Jake.
[00:39:42] And I'm like wow this guy is such a he's such a good copy paste her because it was so articulate grammar spot on no spelling errors I'm like this guy is really really good.
[00:39:54] So I looked at his pictures and I'm like okay I've never been attracted to a ginger before but whatever I'll give it a whirl and. So I responded and we chatted for a couple days and one of the choice phone numbers and.
[00:40:09] He's like yeah I'm leaving town is there any chance we can hang out on Wednesday and I was like yeah now. I already had plans and he's like come on like leaving town for like over a month like give me a shot and I'm like yeah no sorry.
[00:40:24] And then he kind of stopped responding to any like we just didn't communicate anymore. I did not stop responding you never got ignored there's just no further communication she anything and so for several days I didn't I didn't message you.
[00:40:41] So then the wind blew me in one direction and I'm like you know what I'm gonna try and give this guy a text and I'm like hey stranger how are you. And you want to take it from there.
[00:40:52] I think you asked me like where'd you go or what happened I was just like hey you had your chance and it was Wednesday. Now I'm gone. Now it's Tuesday the following week. I just remember thinking very you know black and white very.
[00:41:14] Like hey I did my best to try and to try and see her and she wasn't having it.
[00:41:22] I don't know but to back up a little bit you also think I was like all right if you don't have time for me on time that I've got then you're probably never going to meet this bad ass.
[00:41:32] But in between our noncommunication he had to have immediate gallbladder surgery. But yeah I mean Wednesday would have never ended up. Tuesday was bad for both of us. But I could have learned her bedside manner. Yeah right. See if she's picky about hospital food.
[00:41:56] Maybe we could have gone in the ambulance ride together from the restaurant. Romantic. She was worth the wait. But yeah we wound up being just long distance compadres. We called each other since we both had iPhones it was like I girlfriend and I boyfriend or something like that.
[00:42:21] Glad you didn't have those green text. Damn droids. So I was in Oklahoma City for work for at least three weeks. I don't remember how long it was exactly. But as soon as we started talking again we were talking constantly and FaceTiming constantly.
[00:42:45] And I drove on the weekends where I had some time off for my traveling work. I drove down to Dallas where I used to live to visit some friends and I remember the whole way it was late.
[00:42:58] Like I worked from 2 to 10 and was driving from 10 p.m. to 1 a.m. or something like that. And I had her on FaceTime the whole way where she was looking at me but I was looking at the road of course. Safety first. No double chin he's good.
[00:43:16] But she helped me stay awake the whole way and I think that's really where when I fell for her when she was willing to FaceTime me during my entire road trip.
[00:43:29] And then it wasn't much longer after that but I got back home and we had our first date which was just Netflix and chill. Okay give us the deeps. Oh yeah let's get it. How far did you make it on this Netflix and chill? So he came over.
[00:43:50] Was there oral? So he came to the house. But wait I'm packing up a little bit. Wooo! He comes over. And always belling over. Oh my god.
[00:44:06] He's like yeah let's watch a movie and what the hell was that movie because it was something I had never heard of. Granted I grew up on a farm so we didn't watch a lot of TV. We were playing in the fields. Were you Amish?
[00:44:18] Because it was Pennsylvania. Nobody went to college where they Amish were. It was with Bill Murray. Oh was it? Dead Poets Society. No. Was it the murder mystery where he like... No. The man who knew to little amazing Groundhog Day. No. Kingpin. No. St. Vincent's good.
[00:44:44] If it is that's a great movie I should all watch it. So he comes over and I'm all excited. I'm finally meeting my iPhone boyfriend and I wanted to fall asleep during the movie. I take it back. Terrible movie.
[00:44:58] So yeah that was when we first officially met but things moved very quickly. But I feel like... Sounds like it. I'm sorry mom if you're listening. It was just like the next day or the day after that you at least met her at a toadie grill
[00:45:14] when I was doing that guitar gig. Because that was just a day or two after we had met. I didn't realize. I was totally thinking I met her at Anna's birthday party. Oh okay so I'm getting mixed up then. Yeah you're way rushing into things right now.
[00:45:29] Sounds like you both did. So we meet September 3rd. Right so Jake comes back from Oklahoma City. And maybe the next day or that night he's like yeah my daughter's birthday is coming up. There's a birthday party at our house. You should come and bring your kids.
[00:45:48] So I was like okay. And my kids had only ever met one other person outside of their dad. So it was just like this is really weird because the one prior was just like he wanted an instant baby mama. And I was like this isn't going to work.
[00:46:02] I'm like okay so I really really like this guy. Am I willing to put myself out there? I feel safe with him. I'm like yes I'm going to do it. So Reagan and Mason I get in the car. We drive to Jake's house pool party.
[00:46:15] I walk in no one but Jake. And he like leads me through the house to the pool area and we sit down and I look over. And there's this black bathing suit amazing hat bombshell lady. And I find out that's Toby. Oh shit. I'm like oh mother fucker.
[00:46:36] I don't remember the hat. It was a really cool son. Oh that sounds familiar. But not only was she there her husband AJ's there her dad and her stepmother. Oh they were? Yeah they were. I forgot about that.
[00:46:54] So anyway the whole family is there my kids get to meet their kids. And the night ended really great. I made bracelets with Anna by the pool. We were invited to go on their boat the next day. And one of the tower speakers fell on Reagan's head.
[00:47:08] While we were out one of the tower speakers of Jake's boat fell on Reagan's head. Mason would not get in the water and we're like the boat is like Jake pulled anchor and then we're starting to get away and Mason's still on the land
[00:47:22] and we're going further away from the land. We're like dude let's get in the water. I'm like you can't fuck this up for me. You're making me look bad. I love you Mason. We love you Mace. But we very quickly like that was September by April.
[00:47:41] Me and my kids moved in with Jake and his kids. And yeah that was our 2016 and got engaged and married 2019. She proposed to me. Yeah that's my girl. On the beach in Mexico underneath our favorite constellation Orion. From no Wednesday dates to proposal. I was super nervous.
[00:48:06] I've never proposed to anyone before and like my armpits were tingling. Mine do that too. Mine might start. In the middle of the proposal like a Mexican. Toes. Yes. But right after the proposal a Mexican band started playing on the beach and there was that sound coming from.
[00:48:28] It'd be weird if it were like. Did they know? No. We were laying on it was sitting on a blanket. It'd be weird if it were like an Irish band. In Mexico and Irish band starts.
[00:48:41] Yeah but yeah I mean here we are like I'm living a life which I can honestly say like even just a life with Jake that I never expected was a reality for me. I don't think I honestly knew what true love was until I met Jake.
[00:48:58] Like someone that through all of my faults will unconditionally stand by my side and just still want to hug me after me being like a royal bitch the day before and being that shit crazy and like he embraced who I am through good and bad
[00:49:15] and I've never had that before. I've never had that before. And this family is a whole like the Bush monkeys and Toby and AJ like I am a woman coming into everybody's lives and I was given the benefit of the doubt
[00:49:30] and trust it just it's incredible because it's all the feels I've never had throughout my entire life so I'm very very grateful for this family. We're grateful for you. Truth I just want to say that you know you say you were given the benefit
[00:49:44] of the doubt and all the feels and I just appreciate and admire you so much Tiff because just like with the people I dated wanting them so much to be kind to my ex husband.
[00:49:59] I was so hoping for the same thing in return for me to just be to have somebody be kind and to respect me as these kids mom and to want to co-parent and be friendly and I just admire you so much Tiff you have always been
[00:50:19] so caring and kind and intentional and also have never felt the need to get super involved in in the difficult things that happen between Jake and I. You know we've had some really rough times sometimes and like for the
[00:50:38] the significant other of us to like get involved makes it uglier and more difficult and so I just find so much wisdom in you and I don't know I when AJ and I first
[00:50:54] started dating I had this like fairy tale picture of me and his ex wife getting along and being friends and co-parenting and I was like you need to set up a dinner
[00:51:04] with us and her you know I want to meet her I want to meet her husband these are the parents the other parents of your children I want to meet them I want to
[00:51:14] work together with them and I just thought it was going to be all sunshine and roses and like from the moment I met his ex and I don't want to like talk trash or anything but like there was no kindness and literally just like had
[00:51:30] no desire to work together as co-parents and so when you came into Jake's life and my kids life and you were just easy going and kind and you cared about my children and you made them a priority to me I was like anybody anybody who
[00:51:50] genuinely cares and loves my children is a friend to me I want you I want to support you because you are loving and caring for my children and and I instantly loved your children too like I absolutely we call Reagan and Mason my
[00:52:07] bonus children and Tiff is a total bonus mom to our Anthony and you know she's literally gone out of her way to take him to Froyo just the two of them and like that makes Anthony feel so special and Jake too like has been
[00:52:22] so kind to AJ and I's biological child and you know bought him shoes and bikes and all kinds of things like more than we ever buy him one time he was like
[00:52:35] what kind of dad is Jake to me and I was like probably a better one than I am I don't know but truly I admire you so much Tiff to come into all of this
[00:52:46] madness with so many kids to bravely take on four more and five of you count mine I just bless you I bless you I admire you so much and I'm just so grateful that you were open to me and kind to me and willing to just like
[00:53:08] work with me and you know you are such a huge part of the piece that we have in this family you are sunshine you are so good to all of this family and I
[00:53:24] just I love you I admire you and I remember there were times when you guys were going through the transition of being stepmom and my kids or art you know our kids and they would come and be like Tiff this Tiff that and I would be like
[00:53:40] well it does not sound like you're being respectful she is one of your parents and you know and I just think it's so important to support each other in that way and not just use that as an opportunity to be mad and to you know
[00:53:53] whatever and I don't know I'm just so grateful for both you and AJ and who you are coming into Jake and I's kids lives and incorporating your own children y'all are my heroes. Thank you. We're just happy to be here.
[00:54:12] Yeah I mean I just work here it's totally fine but I mean it is I mean even with Anthony and AJ's kids like and like Toby and Jake's kids like I will tell
[00:54:24] the Bush Monkeys I'm like I love you so much even if you didn't come out of my hoo-ha like another Tiffism boom. I'm like you are mine I would dodge a bullet for you I would jump in
[00:54:33] front of a train for you I love you like you are my blood and I think they hear it so much for me like they they get it it's not a lie it's not fake and I'm
[00:54:45] not the happiest person 24-7 and they still love me and they appreciate it and if it's too much we talk about it and I'm never going to be the perfect stepmom I'm not going to be the perfect wife I'm not the
[00:54:58] perfect mom nothing but like I will continue to try and grow and if there's anything right I will learn how to fix it and I just want to be that piece of the puzzle that just ties us all together that's all they want at
[00:55:11] the end of the day like this is my forever family it's not going anywhere like we're going to make it work I feel the same way I feel like one thing that especially almost exponentially over the last year I feel like we have tried to do
[00:55:27] is really figure out how to give everyone the benefit of the doubt and that's for me it's something I like tell a lot of people about in my daily life like I think that everyone is happier when everyone is giving everyone else the
[00:55:44] benefit of the doubt and not assuming that someone's saying something to hurt you doing something to wrong you whatever it is don't even trust your own five senses you know like give this person the benefit of the doubt until
[00:55:58] you're very very very sure that their intention was something that was to hurt you because we're way too easy to come to a fence and it's usually from a good place that's the thing that's so tricky for so many people is it's
[00:56:10] like you're not being offended because I'm proud and I'm this and I'm that and whatever it is it's that it's all love for other people and so you're worried about them or defensive of them or whatever it is and I
[00:56:20] think that we have learned to slow down and just understand that we know who each of us are and not just the people here at this table but our whole family and let's give everyone the benefit of the doubt and really try to
[00:56:36] help each other grow through that instead of accusations or assumptions. 100% and I think like Anna I hear this the most and it echoes in my mind most recently like over the last two days is you never know and just speaking
[00:56:54] specifically of our Gold Star family is like you never know what the other person is dealing with in that moment so like I'm OCD my happy is clean if I see dishes in the sink like I get a little frustrated and I might get a little bit like
[00:57:08] RBF on my face but it's really like what was that person that left the dirty dishes in the sink what was going on in their head like what's happening through their day and I'm trying to evaluate my own temperament based on
[00:57:20] you know Jake always comes home from work and he has a really stressful job but he always comes home with like a skip in his step like he's happy to see the dogs and meet and the kids but like he might have a moment where he needs
[00:57:31] quiet and I'm like I'm not instead of being like oh my gosh is he upset with me I have to think what transpired in his day what emotions did he feel throughout the day or if Jonah comes out of his room he doesn't say hi to
[00:57:41] me like I'm not going to get mad about it I'm going to think what was he doing or what was he thinking that is making him feel this way and just put that extra step of effort into like hey you good and that's huge for me because
[00:57:56] instead of taking it personally I need to evaluate what's going on the other end of that person that I'm face-to-face with right now and that's again huge and massive for me because I like to take things personally so it's
[00:58:08] reevaluating who I am to feel more for that person and in a big family in a step family introducing your kids to a significant other or living as a blended family there are so many things you have to change of who you are to just be
[00:58:26] there for who your people are. Agreed and shout out to Jonah by the way you just mentioned Jonah he is editing our podcast and he created the jingle that you heard at the beginning of this episode and you'll hear it again soon when we wrap this baby up.
[00:58:44] Jonah is so talented you can look him up on SoundCloud or preferably Spotify. Jonah Bushman his music is excellent and he's so very talented. Thank you Jonah for doing all of this for us. Maybe we can learn how to put links in the comments.
[00:59:00] Oh my God like and subscribe what not. We're going to be AIs taken over. We are eventually going to you guys are going to be able to see us face-to-face one day. I mean there is a giant box on this table.
[00:59:13] I have no idea what all these switches do. Don't talk about my vagina like that. But eventually we'll see us face-to-face and we will be YouTube and we will have the like and subscribe but hey the link that's in here that you're
[00:59:25] listening to us on right now like like it follow it and for now bigger and bigger things are to come. Yeah we just getting sorted so as we wrap this up. Jonah I appreciate you. Thank you so awesome.
[00:59:39] As we wrap this up I would just maybe ask all of you what would you say you know we're talking about how I met your mother. How would you or best or what would you say to somebody who just met
[00:59:54] somebody and they're really feeling it and they have children. Like is there a timeline on when you should meet is there like do not let your kids meet your partner until at least six months or is there something
[01:00:11] like that or would you say what would you say to somebody going through that same kind of situation I think it's so popular common. You know 50% or more of the US is divorced and they're
[01:00:24] divorced and many of those people have children and we're all kind of in this together what would you advise them. I'm going to draw on something from earlier in this conversation where we were talking about traditions and how sometimes they're kind of just
[01:00:39] like forced on us and it's almost like with an element of expectation and shame if you don't follow through exactly how it's supposed to be and I feel that applies to literally everything and especially
[01:00:51] this subject where like there are so many filters you have growing up in life that tell you whether they're religious or parental or societal geographical in school friends whatever it might be that tell you this is what you're
[01:01:07] supposed to do and this is what is normal and all of those things at their core take you away from what is most important which is your own core which is listening to your intuition and trusting yourself and feeling like you know what's best for you.
[01:01:28] I'm a big proponent of that you know and I think that if we're talking about when is it appropriate to introduce your children to someone else trust yourself you like you love those kids more than anybody else does
[01:01:41] you know those children more than anyone else does and you know what is better than anybody else's tradition or religion or societal norm or friend opinion might tell you is the right thing to do and you know you'll
[01:02:01] always be okay like it doesn't mean that you won't run in subamps along the way or you might even look back and be like oh I maybe should have waited a couple weeks or I maybe should have not had that person
[01:02:13] it maybe would have been better to not have that person be a part of my children's life so early or whatever it might be everything is growth and everything is movement and if you love your kids and you love
[01:02:27] and you have their best interest at heart then that will always come out on top even if there are things along the way that were difficult or maybe you want to look back and say oh I wish I would have done that a little
[01:02:39] differently that matters so much less than just trusting and protecting and being involved with and and being there and doing what feels right in the moment because your kids are growing with you and they will see that
[01:02:55] they'll see you learn from it acknowledge it move on and they will have known that you love them the whole way through it those totes gorge thanks I feel special I'm a big proponent for gut feeling
[01:03:08] like if I'm feel unsettled or uneasy that's a trigger like some things up so if you're dating someone and they're like hey I want to meet your kids like if it feels natural and comfortable and your guts not in a bad place
[01:03:23] and it's just feeling good then go for it you know if you're having ill feelings about it then maybe need to wait a little bit but your gut is going to tell you your brain and everything is working for you
[01:03:34] and your kids again like AJ said they are the most important things to you and like when introducing mine to Jake very quickly I felt safe I felt comfortable I felt like we had established a friendship whether it was you know it was just that
[01:03:47] strength that vibing that energy that even though it was long distance like there was something there and I knew it was going to be okay and I think that's so important like trust in yourself trust your instinct
[01:03:59] and it's not too soon you know what I mean like I know couples that waited months and years to even move in together and blend their families and I'm thankful for our history and what our journey has brought us to and same with
[01:04:14] Toby and AJ how you guys made things work and how Jake and I have made things work like it's special for us and it's meaningful and I think all of us have followed our intuition and it's led us to what our right place is
[01:04:27] I agree and I think a big part of that is being intentional about putting your kids needs first but not taking away from your own needs but very much considering them like I think it would be irresponsible for any of us when we
[01:04:48] met when we introduce our children to our significant other to be like this is the love of my life I know this guy is for me and instead being kind of unemotional about it at first and saying you know I have
[01:05:04] a new friend and some friendships last forever some are valuable just for a short time but this is a good human I've met and I want you to meet them too or whatever I just think it's important to make sure that we are
[01:05:18] considered of our children's feelings and letting them communicate whatever they want to communicate along the process because like both of you are saying there are no strict by the book answers and going by tradition going by what your mother or your father or your pastor or your priest
[01:05:36] says like above your own intuition I just doesn't make sense for me personally what makes sense is caring about these precious kids that are in my care talking to them having open lines of communication and also not setting
[01:05:54] the expectation up that could lead to disappointment but to just let it flow gradually and organically and to keep the emotion out of it save that for your Starbucks date with your bestie you know don't confide in
[01:06:11] your friends about like oh my god I love this guy already but also when it comes to your significant other introducing their partner I mean sorry your ex introducing their new partner to your kids that can create a lot
[01:06:27] of triggers it can create a lot of protective mechanisms you know and I think that like AJ was saying we need to give our exes the benefit of the doubt now there are sometimes where there are dangerous situations there
[01:06:43] absolutely must be action taken to protect children and I'm not speaking about those situations I'm just talking about humans who have good intentions who care about these kids who are doing their best but they
[01:06:56] might not be doing it the way that you would choose to do it the resistance that you have it's very rare if ever that like you're like I don't think you should be dating I don't think you should and that's
[01:07:07] going to work you're not going to change your exes mind on when they should introduce someone to their kids like your resistance is going to cause it to be more stressful for your children so if you can
[01:07:20] try your best to remove judgment to give the benefit of the doubt to be open to this new person to see the good in them to see how they might be different from you and in that way be beneficial for your children
[01:07:33] could you know that can be helpful and again I'm not speaking about situations that could be literally toxic or dangerous for your kids but good people with good intentions we're all different and we all have different ways of going about things and we do need to
[01:07:48] just open a little bit more remove remove judgment and try to give even our exes and their new partners the benefit of the doubt and just open up and be kind you know and that will benefit our children more than you know giving into these
[01:08:07] triggered protective mechanisms that are like this bitch is not good for my kids you know like just open if you can. It's beneficial for both partners both exes and the kids like why do we have to go into this being hateful.
[01:08:25] And it creates a space too when you're open and you don't try to control it or manipulate the narrative it creates a space for your kids of safety where they understand they can come and express something to you
[01:08:38] like if there is something that you may actually be concerned about your kids are going to come tell you about it because they don't feel an overwhelming oppression from you
[01:08:48] about you know you're not like a line of questioning that's like what's going on what is she saying what's she doing what's he this that the other you know if you're just
[01:08:56] accepting and open and there for your kids then you even have if you have those concerns you have more insight to what those concerns actually look like and if they're valid because your kids are going to trust that they can be open to you.
[01:09:11] Because as much as we all want to think like you know especially early stages of divorce like oh I'm the parent that knows what's going on your kids don't give a fuck they don't care they love their parents and and the more you are putting any kind of negative energy on a situation with your exes relationship with their new partner
[01:09:32] they're going to shut down and they don't want to talk to you. Yep and by no means are we experts at all but I am I don't have gold on I think I've got a lot of people who are like
[01:09:41] my PhD is not in a marital bliss or step parenting but I mean we've been through it where we've been through it together and just sharing our experiences in our opinion we feel is very very important because we would love to see more blended families be able to communicate like we do
[01:09:59] and I think that's the bottom line if this podcast can help one family one blended family like I'm happy sir I'm kicking my feet up in the air.
[01:10:11] I think we've all learned over the last decade plus that I mean we can't lecture each other in a negative light and have it turn out well.
[01:10:25] Yeah the best that we can do for co-parenting if you know like say for example if I thought Toby and AJ met to or introduced the kids too early or something like that.
[01:10:37] I mean preaching about it to either of them and they could be the most logical human beings in the world but like it just doesn't most of the time almost all the time it does not work.
[01:10:50] So the best you can do is lead by example if you think you've got the answers and you think you've got it figured out you know to just be kind and be loving and blah blah like lead the lectures out of it just if you think you've got the answers and you think you've got it figured out you know to just be kind to be loving and blah blah like lead the lectures out of it.
[01:11:04] Just if you think you've got the answers for you know just lead by example. And Toby you touched on it sorry I made some notes no no motion in typical Jake fashion. Just don't be like hey I love this guy and I'm about to introduce you to him.
[01:11:28] This is a friend of mine just like keep it as basic as possible like hey somebody's going to meet us at the restaurant for lunch or whatever. Absolutely.
[01:11:38] And then was to kind of add what you were just saying AJ like don't try and after it's over you know after Bush monkeys that's what we call the kids that have the last name Bushman after the Bush monkeys meet tip for the first time.
[01:11:54] I'm not you know going straight to the kids and saying you loved her right right yeah I mean isn't she amazing.
[01:11:59] Yeah if you're trying to do 20 bucks aren't you happy whatsoever then if you're trying to do any kind of convincing whatsoever then in my opinion you're doing it wrong.
[01:12:09] Absolutely listen to them hear them and then do not in my opinion introduce your kids to your new significant other because your babysitter canceled. If there's any if it has anything to do with convenience or your affordability on a babysitter then you already answered your question.
[01:12:35] It's too early. Cancel your plans. Exactly. And then a new one that I we didn't record this the first two times. I love it.
[01:12:47] Everybody's putting their best foot forward with the initial dating right so let's have that on the forefront of our minds is maybe just maybe we should be looking for that moment when the new person that we care about and love when we see that transition of their best foot is no longer forward.
[01:13:08] Like I'm now seeing the real you know a very low percentage of time you see the real you know you see the real person from the very beginning but a lot of the time it's best foot forward so let's figure that out on our own individual level like okay their best foot forward like they're not doing that anymore.
[01:13:27] Now they're just acting like themselves I feel confident in that and I like who they are and I think my kids are going to like that.
[01:13:33] I love that and be open to that like be open to them just being a human right now like doesn't mean they're bad. Those laws can teach your kids a lot and just allow those those can communication.
[01:13:50] Allow the communication between you and your children to be open so that if there is something when that best foot forward steps back a little bit and they become a little bit more human.
[01:14:00] The kids can communicate and you guys can have that open communication I think is really important. Those are great Jake I love it. Good work everybody. Good work everybody today. Good work you audience we couldn't do this without you. You guys are the real winners.
[01:14:17] And for you guys. No, for you. That's right. We appreciate you for listening. We'll get you AJ dad shirts. We will have merch. Creative Doc creativedesigns.org.com. Creativedesigns.com. You guys we did it episode two in the books. I'm really excited it's all saved.
[01:14:42] All the way around. Same bat time same bat channel. Yeah here we go with our jingle and LLT. Let's go. Bye.